&*@%!#

yup, that is EXACTLY how i feel right now. life sucks. okay LIFE doesn't suck, i actually can't figure out if I should be happy that my only problems right now are money problems or if i should be sad? life with my bf is amazing. def. best 5+ years of my life. seriously. we're at an amazing place right now, and I will definitely miss him a ton when i go to france next year. family life is good too, but that hasn't changed in forever...life post-parents divorce has been amazing. School? AMAZING! I found what I am passionate about: FRENCH! ;) and I could not be happier, of course I would love if my pronunciation was better but I hope to iron that out next year in France....now my enemy: MONEY, or lack thereof.... c'est la vie, oui? SO, since we last "met" I've discovered that I have OTHER study abroad options! I'm actually looking at the program through AIFS, which brings me to my next pt and ultimately my next everyday struggle: Grenoble vs. Cannes. Grenoble, in the middle of the french alps, I could learn to ski, live with an actual french family, have french dinners everyday and a more authentic experience, whatever that means.... Cannes, in the south of France, right along the beach...why haven't I signed up right? well although it is gorgeous, perfect for shopping, it will be a tad more expensive...and since it is more touristy, i probably will not get to the level of french that I can achieve by practicing my french everyday, whether it be at the university or at home with my home stay family like in Grenoble. ARRRRGHHH! i wish i could just make up my mind...i am kind of leaning towards Grenoble though....
so then ive learned some interesting things in my Paris class: apparently "the hunchback of notre dame" is scandalous?! quasimodo and the cathedral(notre dame) have "sex"....they "coucher"! :o i know right?! crraaaaaazy! haha
im getting sleepy so ill keep this short.... a bientôt whoever you are! ;)
p.s. this is a pic to give you some idea of why my struggle is so big on choosing a darn place! click on the picture to make it bigger ;)